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We have a hipster thread, so it's time to do one on their long-standing rivals, the bros!

 

The United States of Bros: A Map and Field Guide

 

Like "hipster" and "douchebag," the word "bro" has been applied to such a vast swath of American culture that it seems no one is really sure what it means anymore. Turns out, much of that confusion can be attributed to the fact that a bro is different depending on where in the Bronited States of Bromerica you're currently bro'ing down.

 

Before we enter the brozone, we must answer, for our purposes, the age-old question: What is a bro? The most practical, workable definition: An adult male whose social life revolves around collegiate homosocial bonding and who also presents himself in a way that assimilates to the prevailing aesthetic of men with similar socialization patterns. Or, if I was going to put it in a way that sounded less like a student who didn't do the reading trying to fill out the essay portion of a sociology exam, a bro is a young, usually unmarried, often immature guy who just does what everyone else his age seems to be doing. He's not necessarily a bad guy, he's not necessarily worthy of derision (some of my best friends are bros!). He's just figuring life out and trying to enjoy himself in the process (unfortunately, this pursuit of enjoyment combined with a lack of self awareness, can, in the case of some bros, result in asshole behavior), and he's not secure or confident enough to do it on his own.

 

Overall, bros just wanna have fun! In a group of 5 or 6 other, similarly dressed bros!

 

Interestingly enough, what's required for bro-ing down in, say, Chicago would not fly in a bro bar in, say, New York City. And imagine a New York City bro rolling into a gathering of Portland bros. Imagine a Red State Frat Bro trying to kick it with an LA Bro. A DC bro and a Cowbro. Bros, like liquor, rarely mix well, if at all.

 

So, without further ado, a brief survey of regional bros and their aesthetic ideals.

 

CONTINUED

http://jezebel.com/the-united-states-of-bros-a-map-and-field-guide-1550563737

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It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

There’s a window of around 15 minutes or so at Neon’s, in Cincinnati, that one can literally watch the place transform from a hipster paradise to bro bar. I don’t know of a better way to visualize the stereotype of both hipsters and bros than to stand outside of Neon’s around midnight on a weekend.

 

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It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

I was thinking the same thing.  Jezebel doing a piece trying to pin down "bro" culture is a bit like Maxim doing a survey of the modern feminism movement.

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LOL this is hilarious.  Since I have been here for a year and a half, I think I can make a good description of Cincinnati bros:

 

The Cincinnati Bro

 

Uniform: Ralph Lauren Polo / Button Down, finely pressed dress shorts, probably J Crew, definitely boat shoes or thongs, no socks.  Gelled hair for sure, $100 watch on left wrist.

Job: Finance at 5/3rd, marketing at P&G, marketing at P&G, Finance at 5/3rd

Hobbies: Getting blackout drunk every weekend, Reds games, creeping at Japs, Dinner at Mt. Adams Tavern, "Casual" drinks at Lackmann, chewing tobacco.

Secret shame: Has one very best bro friend and if said bro friend is not going out neither is the bro.  The bro does not act the same without said best bro friend and looks lost

Celeb brospiration: Not sure, Nick Lachey?

 

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It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

There’s a window of around 15 minutes or so at Neon’s, in Cincinnati, that one can literally watch the place transform from a hipster paradise to bro bar. I don’t know of a better way to visualize the stereotype of both hipsters and bros than to stand outside of Neon’s around midnight on a weekend.

 

 

Yep. I too have witnessed this crowd transition at Neon's. Usually on a Saturday night between 5:30 to 7. Its like one minute you're around ten people you know from the neighborhood and the next the pedal wagon arrives with the bros and woo-girls and everyone you know leaves!


“All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche

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It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

Trixies

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Cincinnati has a diverse and complex bro population (bropulation?) due to our unique geography and regional placement. In the wild you can spot preppy-bros (both affected and inherited), nascar-bros, all-boys catholic high school alumbros, and much more. I look forward to analyzing this delightful yet frightening category with all of you.

 

I also relish the opportunity to learn more about bros in other corners of our state and throughout our great nation.

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Oh NASCAR bros. When I lived in Cincinnati (mid-late 2000s) I first moved there and realized that no one was into NASCAR. Then slowly as NASCAR lost popularity in the mainstream, interest in NASCAR began to ramp up in and around Cincinnati. I don't know if it's because Kentucky Speedway reached maturity and got a Cup race OR if they're just into it in order to claim higher Republican status. Probably a little of both.

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So a bro is basically the stereotypical alpha male.

 

It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

"Too"? :drunk:

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It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

I was thinking the same thing.  Jezebel doing a piece trying to pin down "bro" culture is a bit like Maxim doing a survey of the modern feminism movement.

 

ROFL Glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this.

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Yes, as JYP mentioned, the female counterpart of the bro is the woo girl.

 

There is a solution to the brovercrowding at Neon's. Someone must set up a decoy bar elsewhere in OTR with a name like Paddy McDooligan's Irish Pub to lure the bros/woo girls away.

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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Do%20you%20even%20lift%20bro%3F

 

Do you even lift bro?

 

Male greeting. Used most often among a group in a chat room. Depending on the answer, the person will be judged to be "in" or "out". This is normally followed by an extended boasting session. However, the boasting is reversed and as a person is accepted into the group, a tall tale is told about them.

 

Cyborg walks into a room and says "Hey everyone"

Nova responds with "Hey Bro"

Cyborg say "Do you even lift bro?"

Adabear says "I lifted your mom last night, does that count?"

**Now accepted as part of the group**

Cyborg says "Adabear is so big he once lifted the ocean, just cause he dropped his sunglasses while Jetskiing!"

 

After appropriate laughter, this continues as a greting

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It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

Trixies

 

We always call them bitties, but I like trixie as a term for female bros. The one problem with the bro term is that it's gendered whereas hipster is gender-neutral. I usually just refer to my female bro friends as "bros," or more commonly, homegirl. Homegirl is a great sign of respect, and reserved for women who hold a high place in my life.

 

In the Marina District of San Francisco, by far NorCal's greatest concentration of bros and trixies, the bro scene has a heavy Chubbies and sailing theme (Chubbies are headquartered in San Francisco and produce a lot of bro fashion). America's Cup was also pretty awesomely bro. Kiwis and Aussies are American bros on steroids.

 

The problem with the Marina District is that a crappy 2-bed apartment starts at $5,000 a month (and gets way higher). It's well beyond even Wall Street bros and can match the rents of hipster areas like Lower Haight and the Mission District (though the Marina is a much higher quality neighborhood). Lots of 25-year-old millionaires live in the Marina, but the girls are amazing. It's like Santa Monica Del Norte- gorgeous women with much better game than the rest of San Francisco. As a neighborhood, it stands in direct contrast with the rest of San Francisco and rest of the Bay Area (though Palo Alto and San Jose have some bros too...I just wish Oakland did). The Marina is to bros as the Mission is to hipsters.

 

My favorite Marina pickup lines are below. The girls do in fact approach guys there sometimes, which as any man in San Francisco will tell you, has become a rarity (it's getting rare for any strangers to talk to each other since they're staring at their iPhones 24/7- people get robbed on crowded streets in SF and there are no witnesses). The Marina is the exception to this rule (and all San Francisco rules). It's all about leaning in!

 

"Where do you want to go after this place?"

"Do you do coke?"

"Hi," (immediately start making out)

"I like your muscles."

"I like your girlfriend. Oh wait, are you two dating?"

No words, just start making out after making eye contact

 

The Marina rocks and is always a good time. The women are very confident and sexually open by SF standards. It is a beautiful neighborhood with sweeping views of the Golden Gate Bridge and by far the best nightlife in the Bay Area. The only negative is its horrific public transit...but people there don't use it much, except for the "Dirty 30," which is one of Muni's best pickup busses (along with late-night 38 Geary busses with Polk Street bar crowd).

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It’s Jezebel, so the hipster, relatively racist/sexist author kept the descriptions to men, but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

There’s a window of around 15 minutes or so at Neon’s, in Cincinnati, that one can literally watch the place transform from a hipster paradise to bro bar. I don’t know of a better way to visualize the stereotype of both hipsters and bros than to stand outside of Neon’s around midnight on a weekend.

 

 

I started driving for Uber earlier this summer, and most trips consist of shuttling Bros and their female counterparts back and forth between some combination of Neon's, Japp's, Igby's, Mt. Adams, and Mt. Lookout Square. 

 

As you can imagine the conversations that are overheard are shockingly primitive.  The thing is that all of these people are 100% supported emotionally and financially by their parents.  Their parents raised them to be the a-holes they are today.  There is absolutely no chance that the money or emotional support will dry up.  All of that is what makes their attitudes possible. 

 

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San Francisco bros:

 

http://www.chubbiesshorts.com

 

And a classic article on what happened when the National Park Service opened up Fort Mason for rent.

 

New S.F. neighborhood like a campus fraternity row

Nellie Bowles

Updated 4:51 pm, Monday, September 16, 2013

 

Fort Mason, a 237-year-old military post turned national park, has some of the city's most beautiful coastal views, conference venues, a high-end restaurant and, recently, luxury apartments.

 

But, despite the efforts of Park Service members, the place has been getting quite the reputation. And a new nickname: Frat Mason.

 

On a recent weekend afternoon, several hundred people - most of them young men - packed the lawn of the Great Meadow, an enormous expanse of green at the corner of Octavia and Bay (conveniently located across the street from the Marina Safeway).

 

Some were residents of the historic buildings, which were converted into upscale rentals in January 2012 - but most just came for the party. Young men in salmon-colored shorts lounged on a picnic blanket next to heavy red coolers. A few strung hammocks between the lawn's palm trees. Others had set up corn-hole tables, horseshoe ranges, bocce ball and a volleyball court.

 

It's where you find the all the frat stars, especially on a Fraturday.

 

" 'Cause it's like the fratty, preppy Dolores Park," said 24-year-old Armando Anido Jr., an investment banker who dropped in from his South of Market pad.

 

Dolores Park is known for its craft beer and proximity to Bi-Rite artisanal ice cream. Crissy Field is often packed with middle school birthday parties and Lululemon-clad joggers. The Great Meadow at Fort Mason is a Bud Light Lime kind of spot. There are hardly any children.

 

... "It's the 'sun's out, guns (biceps) out; sun's gone, shirts on' crowd," Bertuccelli said. "I'll walk to the edge (next to her apartment) and just be like, 'There are a thousand people here in our backyard.' And the lawn games are great - we got a tepee last week."

 

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/New-S-F-neighborhood-like-a-campus-fraternity-row-4814000.php

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And it being Cincinnati, their personal networks are probably stacked with people that can get them good jobs.

 

Yeah.  There is definitely a lot of city-jumping among the bro class, though. 

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For the Midwest (which is arguably the most "bro" region), North Side Chicago is super bro. Nothing on the West Coast bro circuit can compete with that, not even Santa Barbara, USC, or Marina District San Francisco. Miami of Ohio has just been funneling thousands of frat bros into Chicago for decades. Not to mention, Northwestern is kind of bro too (bro lite). Wrigleyville is a fraternity/sorority row.

 

I imagine Cincinnati also picks up some of these Miami bros?

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For the Midwest (which is arguably the most "bro" region), North Side Chicago is super bro. Nothing on the West Coast bro circuit can compete with that, not even Santa Barbara, USC, or Marina District San Francisco. Miami of Ohio has just been funneling thousands of frat bros into Chicago for decades. Not to mention, Northwestern is kind of bro too (bro lite). Wrigleyville is a fraternity/sorority row.

 

I imagine Cincinnati also picks up some of these Miami bros?

 

Miami has the broiest of bros and they take over Mt. Adams and OTR every Friday night lol.  Lots of Miami bros in Cincinnati, lots.  Though I am friends with some, hard to tell a lot of them apart.  Good guys though, even though they are very bro.

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For the Midwest (which is arguably the most "bro" region), North Side Chicago is super bro. Nothing on the West Coast bro circuit can compete with that, not even Santa Barbara, USC, or Marina District San Francisco. Miami of Ohio has just been funneling thousands of frat bros into Chicago for decades. Not to mention, Northwestern is kind of bro too (bro lite). Wrigleyville is a fraternity/sorority row.

 

This is the truth for sure! And the term Trixie is a Chicago term.

 

 

One "bro" label not considered is one that I heard when living in San Diego. Although, this version of bro is not much like the others and is kind of like a blue-collar SoCal redneck meets skater punk. I have only seen this type of bro in SoCal and Vegas, but they used to be pretty common there. Not sure how big this scene still is though.This version of bro is also called a flatbiller by some.

 

http://www.flatbiller.com/

 

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For the Midwest (which is arguably the most "bro" region), North Side Chicago is super bro. Nothing on the West Coast bro circuit can compete with that, not even Santa Barbara, USC, or Marina District San Francisco. Miami of Ohio has just been funneling thousands of frat bros into Chicago for decades. Not to mention, Northwestern is kind of bro too (bro lite). Wrigleyville is a fraternity/sorority row.

 

This is the truth for sure! And the term Trixie is a Chicago term.

 

 

One "bro" label not considered is one that I heard when living in San Diego. Although, this version of bro is not much like the others and is kind of like a blue-collar SoCal redneck meets skater punk. I have only seen this type of bro in SoCal and Vegas, but they used to be pretty common there. Not sure how big this scene still is though.This version of bro is also called a flatbiller by some.

 

http://www.flatbiller.com/

 

 

I don't think these guys are bros.  Bros are more middle/upper class WASP-y schmucks.  These guys just seem like a white trash/wannabe gangsta hybrid.

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You ever notice how poorer kids like to wear clothes (often very cheap clothes) which (they think) makes them look like they have money, while richer kids like to wear clothes (often very expensive clothes) which are designed to make them look poorer?

 

Back more on topic, we have now established there are bros and hipsters.  I don't think I fit either.  Are there other options available so that I can enjoy a label as well?

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http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Do%20you%20even%20lift%20bro%3F

 

Do you even lift bro?

 

Male greeting. Used most often among a group in a chat room. Depending on the answer, the person will be judged to be "in" or "out". This is normally followed by an extended boasting session. However, the boasting is reversed and as a person is accepted into the group, a tall tale is told about them.

 

Cyborg walks into a room and says "Hey everyone"

Nova responds with "Hey Bro"

Cyborg say "Do you even lift bro.

I think you meant," do you lyft bro? " ;)

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You ever notice how poorer kids like to wear clothes (often very cheap clothes) which (they think) makes them look like they have money, while richer kids like to wear clothes (often very expensive clothes) which are designed to make them look poorer?

 

Back more on topic, we have now established there are bros and hipsters.  I don't think I fit either.  Are there other options available so that I can enjoy a label as well?

 

Well what Bros and Hipsters have in common is that they are both usually wise-asses if not full-blown bullies.  The way they frame social interactions might differ (at least superficially), but the end goal is to control social situations and blow out challengers and weak bystanders in their endless need for social domination. 

 

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For the Midwest (which is arguably the most "bro" region), North Side Chicago is super bro. Nothing on the West Coast bro circuit can compete with that, not even Santa Barbara, USC, or Marina District San Francisco. Miami of Ohio has just been funneling thousands of frat bros into Chicago for decades. Not to mention, Northwestern is kind of bro too (bro lite). Wrigleyville is a fraternity/sorority row.

 

This is the truth for sure! And the term Trixie is a Chicago term.

 

 

One "bro" label not considered is one that I heard when living in San Diego. Although, this version of bro is not much like the others and is kind of like a blue-collar SoCal redneck meets skater punk. I have only seen this type of bro in SoCal and Vegas, but they used to be pretty common there. Not sure how big this scene still is though.This version of bro is also called a flatbiller by some.

 

http://www.flatbiller.com/

 

 

HAHAHA! Yeah, I know exactly what they're talking about. This does seem more common in suburban areas of Southern California, but it's really a general California cultural subset.

 

I don't see many of these dudes in San Francisco, Oakland, or Berkeley (extremely high rent areas dominated by brogrammers, hipsters, and regular bros), but I've seen them in San Jose, East Bay suburbs, Sacramento, and the Central Valley.

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One of the more common bros in the Bay is the Brogrammer.

 

In tech, some bemoan the rise of 'brogrammer' culture

Doug Gross, CNN

By Doug Gross, CNN

updated 10:31 AM EDT, Mon May 7, 2012 | Filed under: Web

 

(CNN) -- At one of the world's biggest gatherings of Web culture, a 28-year-old executive talks about landing a tech job by sending a CEO "bikini shots" from a "nudie calendar" he created.

 

On campus at Stanford University, a hot startup attracts recruits with a poster asking if they want to 'bro down and crush some code.'"

 

And the world's largest Internet registration company entices Web entrepreneurs with a Super Bowl ad in which two female celebrities paint its logo onto the body of an apparently naked model.

 

Forget what you think you know about the benignly geeky computer programmer who lives for the thrill of finding a single misplaced semicolon in thousands of lines of code.

 

And welcome to the world of the "brogrammer."

 

As tech startup culture increasingly enters the mainstream consciousness through movies like "The Social Network" or headlines about the latest 20-something to cash in a dorm-room idea for millions of dollars, the field is attracting a whole new host of personality types.

 

And some in the tech community complain that its anything-goes structure and sky's-the-limit earning potential has turned the environment at some companies into something akin to your worst stereotype of a booze-soaked frat party.

 

CONTINUED

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/07/tech/web/brogrammers/

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I went to one of those body paint tech parties at John Collins in SOMA once, and it was pretty amazing. I was dancing with the hottest girl there...she was totally nude and kept backing up towards me for a grind....

 

Lots of brogrammers, but I was able to steal the scene. Some of those brogrammer parties are fun. I love all the excess. San Francisco knows no limits these days. It's like Athens with money.

 

Some of those Facebook IPO parties???? Good God, nothing safe to write here, but I'll just say anybody who wanted to get laid got laid.

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I don't think these guys are bros.  Bros are more middle/upper class WASP-y schmucks.  These guys just seem like a white trash/wannabe gangsta hybrid.

 

Yeah, I agree they're not what is now considered a "bro" by most. However, this is what these types were called when I lived in San Diego. It's very specific to SoCal and I see how it would create confusion.

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Back more on topic, we have now established there are bros and hipsters.  I don't think I fit either.  Are there other options available so that I can enjoy a label as well?

 

I don't fit either myself, so was wondering the same. 

 

Having lived in major hipster neighborhoods and bro neighborhoods, I can say that bros annoy me more than hipsters. At least hipsters generally have a broader range of interests and don't act like meatheads. Although, occasionally a pretentious hipster douche will surface. Or the hipster who is just trying way too hard to be "original."

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I did some field research this evening:

bros_zpsb63a400d.jpg

 

It's 2014 and this scene is identical to any from 2004 or 1994 or 1984.  The style and attitudes don't change.  The music is basically the same. 

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Back more on topic, we have now established there are bros and hipsters.  I don't think I fit either.  Are there other options available so that I can enjoy a label as well?

 

We're Al Bundy's. Married with children.

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but failed to mention they are almost always opposite a similar group of girls, donned in too-short, too-tight dresses, with too-tan skin and too-blonde hair.

 

I seriously want Trixie to be a national term not just Chicago.  There is no good term in other cities for these people.

 

As to the comment about the West coast not being as bro as the midwest?  I'd argue LA is extremely bro, but like everything else there its a very different brand of bro.  Lots of them are "Beautiful People" with ties to the entertainment industry but still have the same sort of attitude only difference being they are better dressed.  Just listen to the LA dance music scene and don't tell me that its not like the ultimate endgame of bro culture.

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