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GrassIsGreener

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  1. ^Agree. And sometimes people also just want to un-ironically enjoy a 1300 calorie piece of cheesecake with a group of their friends and not worry how "on message" their life is, regardless of whether it's in OH or not.
  2. ^^This is very true and actually Nashville is one of those hot areas in terms of health IT. I was considering moving there as a matter of fact when I was looking to leave NYC, but just wasn't that impressed with what I saw and figured without a crazy offer I would bypass. Pittsburgh made me a better offer and now I'm here! But you're right, there are some industries, especially entertainment and some niche tech areas, where culture may not be the main reason someone moves to a place.
  3. Agree. Am gay and agree that while there are places with more open and welcoming gay life, I was guilty of making assumptions about people that weren't fair as well.
  4. Now we're like 99% in agreement, but I just have to pedantically add that this is a big part of my point. It's not so much that these people may be afraid of change/new things, but more that they don't care or find newness or novelty important, and that there are plenty of people in other areas and of other backgrounds that are like that. Agree with you that that isn't for everyone (that's the reason I also no longer live in my own hometown).
  5. Also, it's funny, but having ColDayMan like one of my posts makes me feel like I've "made it" on this site haha. I have been on here for ages (2003) and am on my like 3rd screen name (each time the server crashes or after a long break and can't remember my login).
  6. I agree with you there and think our positions are far closer than not. And moving out of Ohio is part of what it took to make me realize that. Hence why I made the comment about assumptions because I was totally that guy and realized I was helping to propagate that by feeling like it was ok for me to judge people back home in a way that I would never be comfortable judging people that weren't "like me", so to speak.
  7. I guess if anything this conversation sort of proves the point. That behavior that exists in many places is somehow less acceptable in some areas than others. There are a lot of people in big name cities that don't give a shit about culture or whatever. They have their lives and what they're into and are fine with that being that. Does having your address in Brooklyn or the Bronx or a trendy city like Nashville really make that more acceptable than if you lived in Fairfield, OH all because you live around more people that don't look or sound like you?
  8. I know, I'm one of those people. So are a lot of others, including in Ohio. And maybe some of those people singing a song they remember from high school in Blue Ash were too. Did you ever consider that? That you didn't actually know any of those people and were making assumptions about them that were more about proving that you were more cultured than they are? Additionally, you know that there Olive Gardens and TGI Fridays in the city, right? Or how about Dallas BBQ in NYC? Walk in to one some time and look around. It ain't all rubes from the suburbs, it's actually mostly Latinos that live in the city. Go the to a Cheesecake Factory in NJ and see what the people sitting in the booths look like. My point is that eating at a Vietnamese restaurant a couple of times a month doesn't make you any more cultured than having nostalgia for your past makes you uncultured. Or that being in an urban neighborhood means that you're not around racists. Ask a group of black or latino kids how they feel about kids that aren't of their background. Their answers may sound familiar to what you would hear in Vinton County.
  9. I think what all this comes down to for me is a sort of "essentialism." As if moving to NYC/LA/Nashville/wherever somehow makes you essentially different from other people or the person you considered yourself to be before you got there. Or where your parents/grandparents came from is determinate in deciding what you like or think. Like, I'm not saying that cultural differences don't exist, but in order to feel a part of something people often exaggerate what makes them different in a way that goes beyond what's truly there. So, again, not that everyone is the same, but that the contours are less extreme than people want to believe they are for whatever purpose that may be.
  10. I'm frankly not convinced. Like, viscerally, sure, but not as much as one might imagine. And this is based on years of living there. You're welcome to have your own opinion, but my own lived experience is that it just wasn't that different at the end of the day. Restaurant menus and use of public transportation aside, those conversations in Spanish/Creole going on around me were about pretty similar stuff as the ones in English and by the second generation there really wasn't much of a difference at all. The brown kids and the white kids on the trains all talked about the same shit.
  11. Additionally, I would be surprised to hear that such things weren't going on in the suburbs of other cities. Frankly, go to a mall in Long Island/NJ and it's exactly like Ohio but with more visible diversity. I won't even say ethnic diversity because is it really so different if you're shopping at a mall and eating at BW3s if you're of Indian descent vs European? Other than people looking different, I didn't feel like the suburbs of NY are all that different than the ones in OH, and I mean that in the best way possible. Outside of a relative handful of zip codes most places in the US aren't hugely different from one another and that's what frustrates me about OH's reputation.
  12. Thank you for the succinct way of phrasing what I took more words to express. A lot of the sensitivity comes from needing to prove something to all those people in their heads that they needed to be better than. Fighting over the bottom rung with stuff that doesn't matter.
  13. Or Ohio without the "I need to speak to the Manager!" haircut.
  14. Agree, it is a bad look, and to me seems childish, because even if you felt that way you could always just, you know, not talk about it since you don't live there anymore. It feels like someone going on and on about how over their ex they are; if you have to keep telling yourself that, maybe it isn't others that need the convincing. I think transplants do that because of a desperate need to feel a part of where they are and it's a pledge of allegiance, in a way. Other people are just small-minded and think that being from a big name city absolves them of that. I showed a coworker in NYC pictures of Sleeping Bear Dunes and purposely didn't tell her where they were. She was talking about how crazy pretty it was until I mentioned it was in MI, then all of a sudden it wasn't as cool anymore. Later that month she moved to Denver. Some people just really are afraid to live outside the lines/off-message for their age group and it's just as true in "elite" locations as it is in deep rural areas.
  15. ^There is no way to make some people from other parts of the country respond in breathless panic than to even suggest that there are positive aspects of the Midwest. They will trip over themselves pointing out all the things that it isn't, as if it were any surprise to anyone that there are no mountains there or as if literally everyone there is addicted to meth. I think the perceptions of the Midwest as a whole (and Ohio in particular) as being unlivably backwards and cultureless are so deeply ingrained in some that it is almost like getting red-pilled hearing that there are people who like living there, warts and all, and people will fight the realization accordingly. I've found this to be particularly true of the transplants from there I met living in NYC. For most it was deeply and personally important to feel that they had fled a wasteland rather than to accept that perhaps they made a personal choice that others wouldn't have made. Case in point (anecdotal, I know, but it is what I experienced. Take it for what it is): I had a 7-hour layover in JFK this weekend after an international flight and decided to meet up with my cousin who still lives in Brooklyn (we grew up together in Dayton, Centerville to be exact). He and I met up at a cool beer spot, the kind you've seen a million of pop up everywhere ('backwards' Ohio, included) and were having a good time. Got into a chat with the bartender who asked me how I knew so much about the city and I told him I was a former New Yorker. The guys response: "I can't wait to be a former New Yorker. I'm sick of this place." My cousin damn near hit the floor. He personally identifies with his decision to move there and so any time someone doesn't like it he fights it, HARD. Now, people are like that everywhere, but to jmecklenborg's point, if you're in or from Ohio, you're not expected to fight the idea that it is a shitty place whereas you're supposed to duel to the death if you're living in a place that is hot and has name recognition. Try criticizing Denver or saying that you thought it was ok but not worth the price. Same with Nashville, Austin, etc. Ohio? You're an idiot rube for liking it there. No suggestion in mind, what was said just resonated with me and I felt like I should add the above. Just to keep it Nashville-related so this post doesn't get mod-ed, people in Nashville can't take any criticism of their city that is basically Anywheresville, USA outside of a handful of places downtown and on campus at Vandy because a lot of people are moving there so that they can belong to something, one of those "movements" everyone seems to be dying to join lately. If you criticize it, you are a heretic and must be dealt with accordingly. Ohio is not like that, for better of for worse.
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